Book Review: Beyond My Dying Mind by Andi Loveall

 A while back, I read the sample of Beyond My Dying Mind and left my impressions. Now that I've read the full book, let's see how wrong those impressions were.

First off, while the sample ends with indications that the missions would be primary, that's very much not the case. In fact, the first mission doesn't appear until about 25% in. However, once I realized the missions were not primary, the actual beginning made more sense as was a bit more representative of the overall story after all.

Instead, this is a romance story, one that feels much like a high school one for better or worse. After the sample ended, I very much got the vibe that these were mostly just high schoolers by their actions, especially since their romance stays in the "everything he/she says and does is perfect and sexy." Only later did I realize that the two main protagonists were actually adults.

As to my impressions of Jasmine and Noland, I didn't find any cause to not like them. Sure, they act impulsively rather than use reason, but they also felt like nice people who wanted to do good. And I also wanted them to succeed in their romance.

The world is still fairly interesting. I felt the magic system was a bit unique though maybe not fully fleshed out or explained properly. At the same time, it did not matter but acted more like a buffer to give the reader a break, which I liked. The hellish creatures were legitimately frightening, so I'm glad I didn't pay too much attention to the details and read before bed.

That being said, part way through, I thought the system would also become more important, but that proved to be the one occasion the characters act differently than I would have expected based off the intro and their impulsivity. Though maybe it's more appropriate since it would have required a little thinking to actually come to with the action. It's really a pro and con because it gave the nice interwoven pace-changing, but the book would later show that it was possible and more likely.

Now the missions, despite not being as primary, are still important to the story. That being said, i have mixed opinions about the actual preventing suicide cases. There are authentic points to keep in mind, but some also felt cheating. That being said, the actual growth of one of the characters is a nice realization. Again, recognizing that this is a love story, with some action and magic, helps in enjoying the story for what it is.

Perhaps that's a good segway into the controversial elements. No matter your opinion on the matter, I think it's good for readers to know what to expect. The first being that there is a sex scene and characters with multiple partners. To be fair, the world gives an explanation why it could be considered okay in the spirit world, but it still fits the bill of controversial.  Related on a technical level, there are maybe 5-10 f-bombs scattered. And also related on a technical level, there is "encouragement" of a trans character to proceed with the operation. Personally, on a philosophical level, I see it similar to the suicide cases as a mix bag. It touches on some of the important underlying issues, but missing one I think is critical or distracts from it since the whole subject is addressed only emotionally. Finally, the last point that might be controversial without the proper understanding is the spirit world. There may be a few Christian references, but I would assume this is certainly not a Christian spirit world but should instead be considered the author's "magical" world.

Now the rating. I consider stars to represent relative enjoyment and as such I'll give this 4 out of 5 stars. Even though it has controversial elements, focus was not on what I expected, and raised some questions about actions, I did emotionally like the story and was eager to continue reading through to the end. The fact that it's a complete story is also a plus to me. Would I recommend to teenagers? No. At least not my kids without also talking about the controversial elements inside.

The reason why I would require discussion is because the author did a good job of emotionally appealing. However, relying purely on emotional reasoning can lead to dangerous results or actions. And since teens hormones are not balanced, and they feel more attached to emotional reasoning, I think it can be too dangerous for them without a good conversion to help baseline.

Writing Compelling Antagonists

Quite often, I see people asking for advice on writing a compelling villain. The advice also tends to be the same. Memorable, is the hero of their own story, is personally connected and opposed to the hero, is the hero but made one different choice, check out Darth Vader, check out the Joker, check out Prince Zuko, etc. While I do agree that all are good points, I think there are a few things that are important to understand in order to properly frame the advice. Let's start with the misunderstanding of the concept of villain.

First off, Zuko was never the villain in Avatar: the Last Airbender. Therefore he is not a compelling villain. Hear me out. A villain is defined as "a character whose evil actions or motives are important to the plot." Zuko doesn't really for that definition as his motives weren't evil and he performs honorable actions. However he does fit the definition of an antagonist, which is "a person who actively opposes or is hostile to someone or something; an adversary."

Just as heroes are a subset of protagonists, villains are a subset of antagonists. If our story needs a villain, that's fine. The Legend of Korra antagonists are villains and half are done well (Amon up for debate). However, if we start with the idea of a villain, we limit ourselves and imagination, potentially falling into tropes with no logical explanation. Antagonists, however, for example, are free to also be genuine heroes, just like Zuko, as they are merely opposition, not necessarily evil. As a result, the real question is how to make compelling antagonists, and let them be villains if need be.

Now that we have that understanding, we can see that it's easier to make a compelling antagonist. When we think of it as only someone who opposes the protagonist, then what we should see is that it's the same as making any character compelling. What the label of antagonist does is simply define part of the relationship.

One popular type of antagonist is the Rival, defined as "a person or thing competing with another for the same objective or for superiority in the same field of activity." Think Red and Blue from the original Pokemon games. Team Rocket was the main villain, but the final battle was against your rival, someone who is not evil at all. For a story about being the very best, that is the most appropriate antagonist. Another example is in the Prestige where the drive is to be the best magician. What's interesting here is exploring how that drive was what led to their conflict and one to the point of becoming a villain.

Now if our story is about redemption, then it's possible to flip the normal associations and let the hero be the antagonist. It's hard for me to think of a good example. If I understand correctly, Megamind has this as the pitch, though I never watched it. The closest example I can think of is the episode where Zuko tries to join the Avatar, but only Toph trusts him. Though there is another one focusing on Katara. If you are interested more on that, check out Hello Future Me's video essay on it.

Now with all that being said, there is one specific quality I would like to promote people to use more when creating characters, especially antagonists, and that is Loyalty. When we talk about characters being compelling, the first question we should ask is why would anyone be loyal to them. For this, let's examine Treize Khushrenada from Gundam Wing.

To be fair, I doubt people outside of my age group would be familiar with the series and it has been many years since I watched it, but I always found the character compelling, even if I did not understand him. He was in charge of the initial antagonist organization and manipulative, but he was also charming, skilled, and spared the life of his would-be assassin. However, perhaps the most impressive is seeing his men's willingness to die for him. In terms of what inspired such loyalty, there was one action I could remember and that was how nightly routine of listening to the names of each soldier who died.

This bit is important because it shows respect for his men. To him, they were not just soldiers but people with names. This helps show what makes him compelling to a group of characters, and in turn, makes him compelling as a leader and character, even though he was an antagonist.

To recap, when seeking to make a compelling villain, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, villains are a subset of antagonists and not necessarily what's best for a story. Second, antagonists are simply characters so whatever makes any character interesting applies here as well. Lastly, a good way to make characters compelling is to show why other characters are loyal to them.

I hope this helps you all as it helps me. If you would like more ideas on writing antagonists, check out Hello Future Me's video on writing villains where he focuses on motivations

Dream on,

J. D. Nyle

Sample Impressions: Beyond My Dying Mind

Quick explanation on Sample Impressions:

Being part of the WritingCommunity on Twitter, I see lots of books and authors. However, combined with writing, playing games, learning a foreign language, and just relaxing and other duties, it's hard to find time to read entire novels. As a solution, I figured I can at least read the free samples of books people are struggling to get attention (and, to be honest, hope they will return the favor).

I argue this is actually a good exercise in writing as well as I get to learn what attracts my attention and what would make me interesting in finishing the book or even pay it.

And now, onto the...

Sample Impressions of Beyond My Dying Mind by Andi Loveall

Let's start with the verdict: I find this book interesting and it's on my wishlist. However, I did come out of the sample not sure what the book would be like. The impression I got is that I read a prologue which set up the interesting world, but it ends before we actually get a taste of the flow. As a result, I would like to read a bit more before buying, but because I found it so interesting, I might end up buying anyway.

Why do I feel like it's a prologue? Because it starts off in a Hellish environment where the protagonist is killing and doing a bunch of stuff, but the premise of the book is that he goes and saves people from committing suicide on Earth. As a result, the impression I get is that we are just introduced to a harsh environment to help explain the protagonist's motivation, but nothing else that feels like it'll matter later based off the premise.

I do like that we do learn the basic mechanics of the world within the sample. And the mystery about the background of the main character's suicide and his rescuer sound intriguing.

Again, my disappointment is that the sample ends before we get to see the main character work his first case. That being said, based off what I read so far, I think I can be willing to purchase. This also sounds like a neat setup for a series of short stories where people work different cases to prevent suicides.

If you are interested, I've embedded the sample below and provided a link to the book


https://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Dying-Mind-Andi-Loveall-ebook/dp/B079TQVHYT 

Review: A Proposal to Die For by Vivian Conroy

Are you tired of mysteries where the detective figures the case using evidence you have not seen? Do you dislike when they reveal the culprit you had no hope of properly proving? Are you interested in the investigation itself rather than a sudden twist? Then this is a book for you. The fact that it's clean is also a great feature.

Personally, I would call this a Lady Alkmene Investigation rather than mystery, but that's not to dismiss the mystery, just emphasize the strength of the investigation. It also is good to know that you don't need to worry when they examine details of things like a map.

The story is told through the eyes of Lady Alkmene on her first case. It's a very observant book as she notes everything she sees and thinks in a realistic manner. Not only does she see things, but she thinks and feels and then acts based off them. This authenticity carries through most of the book and is expanded upon with the introduction of the foil, Jake.

Jake is almost the opposite of Lady Alkmene. He is more experienced in investigations and lower class. These provide tension between the two as they share their respective biased views. This is used to good effect as we get to see different opinions on the same thing and cases where neither of them have the perfect answer.

The book is also clean in content. While there is some class politics discussed, neither side makes a strong enough case and it was more to provide context for the characters’ bias while sitting the world is more complicated than expected. The only moral injection I had was Lady Alkmene lying in one case.

The weakest part of the book is the ending. It wraps things up, but it's one that gives the impression  it was writing what the plot demanded rather than what the story needed. The characters rightfully acknowledge it should be hard to catch the criminal they suspect, but then it's easy and the criminal admitted to everything on incomplete and circumstantial evidence. And don't get me started on the use of circumstantial evidence.

That being said, the book held my attention throughout and only dropped in the end. There were a few sections where I had to re-read, but it was not a serious issue. I liked the book and reading how the investigation played out. I enjoyed the interactions between the characters and reading their thoughts. There is no sudden and great twist, and there is nothing for the reader to solve, but this book is proof those are not necessary in a mystery after all.

(By the way, the sequel addresses some of the issues and is indeed an improvement. You can also get a 4 mystery bundle)

My Approach Toward Writing

I like telling stories. My guess is you like telling stories too or at least like consuming them. Will any of our stories be perfect? That's a relative question in which the answer is always no or potentially yes. If you mean everyone loves it and it's a textbook example of what to do, no. If it's something that can be enjoyed, then that's very much possible. For this essay, I'm going to focus on the latter and how I think is a good way to go about writing.

Step 1: What do you want to tell?
If we don't have a story to tell, then we will undoubtedly encounter writer's block. At the same time, it will be hard to convince people to consume our story of we cannot give a reason for telling it.

Step 2: flexibly plot
Some people write going with the flow and others plot everything. I think the best approach is down the middle. Related to step one, we need to have a reason to tell your story and having a plot helps us identify it. If we just go with the flow of sounds good at the moment, we may end up like The Last Jedi where it's emotionally good and had some great scenes, but also is very incoherent and messes up the Star Wars universe.

However, if we plot everything, then we can fall into the trap where we write around the plot and not what should happen naturally. The Last Jedi also failed here with some scenes, but perhaps not as bad as the Star Wars prequel trilogy. For example, we knew Anakin had to convert to the dark side, but it was not convincing why he did what he did. Why kill children without hesitation instead of having the join him? At the same time, perhaps what critics really attack is the dialogue does not feel real.

Step 3: feel the right emotion
A good storyteller makes the story feel alive. A good writer best enables the storyteller in the mind of the reader.

We need to remember that for characters to feel alive, we need to focus on the emotions and the moment. This is perhaps the core of “show more, tell less.” If people simply wanted to know what happened, they would be satisfied with SparkNotes or Wikipedia. People want stories for the emotions. Therefore it's important that the reader feels part of the story. In some cases, it's fine to summarize a series of events, but in general, engagement is key.

An important way to engage the reader is through our word choice. Words have emotional pull and that is what poetry hinges on. Certain words can trigger certain emotions. At the same time, words can also reflect our current emotions. If you are bored while writing, you might write boringly and then the reader will likely be bored when reading. However, if you are excited while writing an action scene, the reader will likely feel the same.

Step 4: repeat steps 2 and 3 until completion
We are likely to encounter situations where we cannot naturally progress to our plot points. In these cases, we may want to try a few tactics. Rearrange the plot points; remove some scenes; tell the story from a different perspective. Just make sure we continue this all the way through the ending because that’s the sentiment that the audience leaves with.

Also feel free to work on a different story. The creative process we work there can help us progress in our current story. Sometimes we just need to change our focus to find inspiration.

Step 5: read the story on a different device
A read on a Kindle can help us catch many typos or other weird things. I bought my Kindle used for $20 and it had worked out nicely. We can email docs and PDFs directly to the Kindle device, and if we use Kindle Direct Publishing, we can even send a Kindle formatted version.

Step 6: find proofreaders
These people can help us catch more typos and mistakes. At the same time, they can provide feedback about how it reads. An issue with editing is we sometimes remove critical information. This is a chance to catch those absences. Also pay attention if they received the correct impression we were aiming for. If you provided important information inside a large paragraph, it was probably missed.

I have found some beta readers using the #betareaders and #writingcommunity on Twitter.  Friends and family members can also give good feedback.

If we have a publisher willing to pay for a professional editor, that would be good to utilize as well. If we are self-publishing, then I have yet to justify the price I paid createspace for their services. It was helpful, but not more than my friends and father.

Step 7: edit and repeat until ready to stop.
At some point, we need to stop for our own sanity. Our creative will always think of ways to “improve” but at some point, we'll start making things worse and hate our creation. I think it's fair to accept a good state and save the new ideas for adaptations or new stories.

Step Anytime: ask others how to grow your audience
Considering my Twitter follower count only just reached 100, I am not the person to ask for growing audience.

Happy writing,
J. D. Nyle

Review: The Strangers We Know by R.M. Mulkey

Jared regrets not spending more time with his sister before her murder. Rylee is an artist and was her best friend. When Jared visits the small town of Crescent Valley, Georgia to see where his sister lives and potentially get answers, they meet. Will their love bloom and find answers or will Rylee be the next corpse to plant flowers next to?

I wrote that description to help explain what the book is about. From the title and description on the product page, I was under the impression that I was going to be reading a mystery. After reading the book, I am more convinced it is a romance novel set in the context of a mystery. When assuming this, I think it's easier to enjoy.

If you are a mystery lover like myself, who likes to solve the case, you probably will be disappointed, unless the types of mysteries you like are dramas such as NCIS where you are not really allowed to solve the case. You may know the culprit, but the real focus is the drama.

I did find myself interested in the book and often looked for time to read. However, I found myself disappointed that the progression was primarily revelations rather than investigations and deductions.

A tricky thing with mysteries is that they depend upon the twist revelation to be well executed. A servable twist explains things. A great twist not only explains things, but completely changes how you view events, and it does so by overturning something the audience took for granted. Examples of this would be the Prestige, Empire Strikes Back, or the Sixth Sense. In this novel, I felt like it really only affected my view of one character, who was not the culprit.

Another thing about mysteries is the deduction process. A good mystery, in my opinion, shows more than it tells. Here, rather than actions leading to results, people just inform. This applies to the storytelling as well. It's said that Jared is a good negotiator, but I really did not see any evidence of that.

Finally, the ending has a lot to be desired of. It does not make sense in terms of some character actions. While it does tie up the main mystery, it still left me with some questions. At the same time, the last chapter felt tacked on. As a result, I see this as mostly a plot-driven-story rather than a story-driven-plot, which is probably best for a solid mystery.

But what if we think of this as a romance first? Then I don't think my complaints above matter so much. If you are not interested in who is the culprit but whether Jared and Rylee get together or not, I think it works. I'm not a romance expert, but I found it interesting enough. For me, the importance of romance is not if the characters are compatible, but rather the emotions and choices they make feel real and nothing objectionable happens. For those two points, I think it succeeds here.

One critique that will still stand is that it can be a bit hard to read at times. Occasionally a paragraph would take up a whole page. I would sometimes have to backtrack and re-read entire pages. One mystery in each chapter is when it occurs and where as sometimes you might expect it to continue to right off the previous, but it takes place days later. There are also a few grammatical errors, though one might be how they talk in Georgia. I asked my colleague from Georgia and she said that she has heard some people speak of the dead like they are alive like “Jess is our friend.”

In conclusion, it may not be the best novel you have ever read, and certainly not a best mystery, but as a romance, I thinks it's fine.

Note: if you are curious about language content, there was at least one f-bomb and a quite a few cases of "God" used for emphasis. Otherwise, a relatively clean book when it comes to language. As for sexual content, there was nothing explicit, but Jared is hinted at doing one night stands with many women before the events of the book.

Book Preview: